Saturday, January 12, 2013

"We are not always in tune with our needs/desires because we find a way to cover them up and move on. But, I have found, the level of disappointment we feel is in direct proportion to the level of desire we have for something. Perhaps you taught me, that some needs I have shouldn’t be ignored or sacrificed for the rest of my life. Why then, would life be worth living if we didn’t seek the most beauty out of it? Deep authentic love. I hope to acquire it someday and enjoy its beauty. I’m sure that when realized, it will take my breath away, as if I’ve climbed a harsh dark mountain, rife with dead trees, vines, and fear and when I reach the top and see the other side, a grand vista, thriving with life, colorful and beautiful... as far as the eyes can see.

Do I have faith in arriving at this love? Perhaps I’m romanticizing it. But, if it is anything like what I felt this past spring, then the hopeless romantic might be right. As for faith... well, faith is a strange thing. It means we must blindly believe something without proof. But I won’t believe until there is proof that love exists. I don’t know what’s on the other side of the mountain. I’ll keep climbing day by day, because that is what I’m supposed to do. But I won’t believe until I see it. I’ll let love surprise me again – IF it does. And hope that next time, it’s not a mirage like your picture has been: something I see but isn’t really there. No, the next face, will be the face I see staring back at me."